THE STRUCTURE OF ALL STORIES - INCLUDING YOURS

THE STRUCTURE OF ALL STORIES - INCLUDING YOURS

As consultant coach and mentor I am always interested in the stories of people and organisations and working with them to craft and develop their story as part of making sense of the past and shaping the future. Outlined below are some of the key elements of stories. You can see these elements in stories from the bible, movies, books and your own lived experience.  

STORY

So what is your story and what are all the sub-plots and sub-stories [usually the things that continue to have a profound and continuing impact 12-18 months after the have happened]

Mission / Purpose  - What is the general idea (guide, warning, revelation) of your story?
Sub-Plot1 - Is there a sub-plot / lesson/ context you need to refer to?
Sub-Plot1 - Is there a sub-plot / lesson/ context you need to refer to?
Sub-Plot1 - Is there a sub-plot / lesson/ context you need to refer to?

ASSETS, OBJECTS AND TOOLS  

What is your role in your life story? Is is hero, victim or villain? What other roles do you have at any one time? What about other people? In a business context these can be other organisations, structures, groups that have personalities and motives, just like people.

Narrator - Who is this? Are they a participant-protagonist, father-culture, mother-nature
Characters - What is their past, present and future story, What are their strengths, weaknesses and needs?

Cast
Female Archetype: Earth Mother, Old Hag, Great Mother, Temptress, Mother Goddess, Female Hero (princess or maiden), Damsel in distress (passive female hero)
Ruler/leader: role model/ peacemaker
Hero: Epic hero
Antihero: reluctant hero
Sage: Wise man/ Mentor/ Soothsayer/ Guide
Trickster: A trickster is a character that represents that part of human nature that wants to break rules and cause trouble.Tricksters try to outwit people, animals, and even gods.  They are most commonly depicted in animal form. 
Villain
Caregiver: supporter/advisor/ advocate/ nurturer/ altruist
Innocent: idealist/ traditionalist/ optimist/cheerleader
Jester: entertainer, wise fool, holy fool, wit
The rebel 
The side kick 
The traitor 

CONTEXT

What are the key elements of the story, not just content, objects and tools, but also feelings, context, situation.

Emotions - Archetype Motivations / Emotions: happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger.
Knowledge - What we know and don't know and can never know
Message - fable/morality/yarn/legend/myth 
Space - What is the space, map, layout, location of the story: pics and maps
Artifacts - What are the tools or objects and how do they impact + or - the story

PLOT STRUCTURE (Archetypal Story Patterns)

There are lots of story patterns, more about people. However even business will have stories like Pheonix from the ashes, The underdog, David beats Goliath etc. These stories are essential to help people understand meaning, purpose and journey.

Hero overcomes great obstacles and gets home or wins
A magician who helps make dreams come true
A jester who brings out the fun in a situation
The story of good verses evil
The quest for knowledge of self
The journey home
Hero saves damsel in distress
Star-crossed lovers

CHAPTERS IN THEIR STORY

Not all these chapters will be in every story, but it i interesting to look at the list and pick the elements.

Ordinary World - what is world like 'before'
Call to Action - who/what is messenger and reason
Refusal to Call - what stops/inhibits or is missing
Meeting the Mentor - who guides/helps
The first Threshold - what is risk, gain,loss and trigger
The first Trial - what is gaining, losing or learning
Allies - what do they want/offer how do they compete or collaborate
Enemies - what do they want/offer how do they threaten or frustrate
Fulfillment - what is the output, outcome, lesson
Inner Cave - how are they preparing/learning [their past, present and future, self, father-culture and mother-nature]
The Ordeal - meeting the enemy, object, tool what is feared/hoped/learned
Reward - What is gained, changed
Road Back - What consequences have to be faced
Resurrection/Redemption/rebirth / reawakening - what is last trial and how will be purified by that
Conclusion and consequences

QUALITY OF WHAT WE DO DEPENDS ON THINKING FIRST

 

QUALITY OF WHAT WE DO DEPENDS ON THINKING FIRST
(How to manage better meetings)

The quality of everything we do depends on the quality of the thinking we do first The quality of our thinking depends on the way we treat each other while we are thinking

The ten behaviours that generate the finest thinking, and have become known as The Ten Components of a Thinking Environment, are: Attention, Equality, Ease, Appreciation, Encouragement, Feelings, Information, Diversity, Incisive Questions, Place.

1. Attention: listening with palpable respect and genuine interest, and without interruption
2. Equality: treating each other as thinking peers; giving equal turns and attention; keeping boundaries and agreements
3. Ease: offering freedom from internal rush or urgency
4. Appreciation: practising a 5:1 ratio of appreciation to challenge
5. Encouragement: giving courage to go to the cutting edge of ideas by moving beyond internal competition
6. Feelings: allowing sufficient emotional release to restore thinking
7. Information: supplying the facts; recognising social context; dismantling denial
8. Difference: welcoming diverse group identities and diversity of thinking
9. Incisive Questions: removing untrue assumptions that limit our ability to think for ourselves well
10. Place: creating a physical environment that says back to people, ‘You matter’.

Further explanation of each component here. https://www.timetothink.com/thinking-environment/the-ten-components/

So below is a practical example of setting up a thinking environment, even in a tightly constrained scenario: a big topic, a few stakeholders and limited time. This is not perfect, but I wanted to share this as an example of can be achieved even with quite significant constraints. 

The approach below, is designed to surface areas of consensus or disagreement quickly, avoid time extended on issues that are unimportant, and allow everyone an equal time to offer their view, reflect on others, and contribute to the discussion. Remarkably, but perhaps not surprising, this meeting produced a lot of output in a short period of time, with contributions from everyone, and it stayed on-topic and finished on time. 


Hello [Persons Name]

i see you are [Persons Role]. I have been invited to lead the meeting [Date] for the following discussion

1. What are the key challenges to be addressed as part of the ABC Project and how should we prioritise the programme?
2. How will stakeholder expectations be managed?
3. What outcomes are we seeking to achieve?

As you may know, we have 4 people on the panel but only 30minutes.  I would like to give everyone equal time to make their uninterrupted contribution, as well as follow-up on any observations made by others. We have very little time to do this. I would therefore like to invite all the panel to circulate a BRIEFING NOTE of their key points under each heading *before* the meeting. We can use the time, about 6 minutes each, to summarise what each persons sees as being the key issues of consensus or difference, having previously read each-others briefing notes.

This may seem an unusual approach, but I am very keen that everyone should have equal opportunity, and ample time to consider the views of others. It would be excellent if all the panel have circulated their BRIEFING NOTEs by close of business [Deadline Date]. This is, of course, voluntary, but I hope you will find this approach supportive. 

If you have any queries I would be happy to discuss on the phone [Phone Number], via zoom or teams

Have a great week, and weekend. I look forward to what I am sure will be a thought-provoking discussion on Monday.

Best wishes 



Tim HJ Rogers MBA CITP 
PROJECTS, PROGRAMMES and CHANGE /  CONSULTANT MENTOR COACH
Adapt Consulting Company 
Consult CoCreate Deliver
Mob +447797762051 Tim@AdaptConsultingCompany.com

Tim Rogers is an experienced Project and Change Leader and an ICF Trained Coach as well as mentor for the IoD. He is a past curator for TEDx. Roles have included Programme Manager for the incorporation of Ports and Jersey, and Jersey Post, as well as Operations Change and Sales Support for RBSI/NatWest. He is also Commonwealth Triathlete and World Championships Rower. He has a passion for learning and has been a Tutor/Mentor for the Chartered Management Institute. He is a former Chartered Member of the British Computer Society, has an MBA (Management Consultancy) and is both a PRINCE2 and Change Management Practitioner.  



LINKS
The Ten Components
https://www.timetothink.com/thinking-environment/the-ten-components/

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PROJECTS, PEOPLE AND GOALS

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PROJECTS, PEOPLE AND GOALS
(Revised 28 Jan 2021)

We often think that the logical process for goal definition and progress tracking is as follows

• Where am I now? - Current reality, with supporting facts and implications
• Where do I want to be? - What do I want to achieve, ideally as a SMART goal 
• How do I get there? - How will I meet that goal, target, objective or performance criteria 

Once we have established the "what" we can tackle the "how". From there we can expand the tasks into Objectives and Key Results [OKRs] and the measure the outcomes using Key Performance Indicators [KPIs] and use an agile or waterfall approach to the governance over the roles, goals and controls.

Hold that thought, we will come back to this.

MOTIVATION 

We know from psychology that what motivates people is their "why" and this is somewhere in their psyche between nature and nurture, something partially conscious (to be a Doctor/Pilot/Lawyer/Fireman in order to... ) and partially subconscious (to fulfil my promise, intent, value, potential... ) 

Because this is part of my family, club, community, culture...
Because this is congruent with my values and beliefs..
Because this is about my sense of self, my identity and who I want to be in the world...

These are very powerful examples of "why" and everyone's may be different, such that in a business you have many different motivations to the same project goal. When you have a clear "why" then the drive and positive emotion derived from that will help you tackle the "how" no matter that this may be difficult or seem impossible.

As Friedrich Nietzsche said “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

So we have looked at Where, How and Why. Let's keep going.

WE SEEK OPPORTUNITIES TO SATISFY OUR NEEDS
 

We do not see things (objects or tools) and then notice them, as the saying suggests "I'll believe it when I see it." 

The reverse is true. "When I believe it I will seek it, and see it. " We enter any situation with expectations and we look to confirm or validate them and become curious or possibly anxious if our assumptions are wrong.

There are many phenomena to illustrate the idea of knowledge, expectations or interests affecting what we see. If you are pregnant you suddenly notice all the pregnant people in the world. If you buy a yellow car, start to notice all the yellow cars  on the road. If you are hungry you are attuned to finding food. If you have a [personal goal] you will seek ways and means to achieve that. 

So the things (objects or tools) are noticeable if they are relevant or significant to you or your goal. Otherwise they are ignored. You cannot notice everything, all of the time. You have a filter. Opportunity may be literally staring you in the face and you wont see it if it doesn't match the pattern you are looking for.

in this context even a person may be an object (passive) or a tool (usable/useful) and either objects or tools may be helpful and positive or unhelpful and negative. 

Many people are familiar with the invisible gorilla test. It is there, but you do not notice it unless it fits with your [personal goal] otherwise you are blind to it.

Imagine you are asked to watch a short video (link below) in which six people-three in white shirts and three in black shirts-pass basketballs around. While you watch, you must keep a silent count of the number of passes made by the people in white shirts. At some point, a gorilla strolls into the middle of the action, faces the camera and thumps its chest, and then leaves, spending nine seconds on screen. Would you see the gorilla? 

http://www.theinvisiblegorilla.com/gorilla_experiment.html

Indeed if you are already familiar with the invisible gorilla perhaps try a variation to test yourself.

http://www.theinvisiblegorilla.com/videos.html

Arguably therefore the role of a Consultant, Coach or Mentor is to put the job, product, project, goal into a context that matches the pattern searching of the person. And a key step to achieving that is to understand what pattern they are searching for: their purpose or a personal goal that would be a stepping stone toward that purpose.

There is a strong argument from a communications and change perspective that people should be regarded as pattern matching machines rather than thinking and evaluating beings. Because the latter process of thinking (fast or slow) only starts after recognition of a pattern for which we have been primed (by nature, nurture, experience, assumptions or beliefs )

So we have looked at Where, How and Why and a little about motivation and how we perceive things.

A CORPORATE WHY IS NOT THE SAME AS A PERSONAL WHY

The book Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek is highly recommended

Start With Why (2011) tackles a fundamental question: What makes some organizations and people more innovative, influential, and profitable than others? They start with why - the vision and mission behind their efforts. Starting with why yields benefits like a more inspired team, more loyal customers, and enduring long-term success. In Start With Why, learn how to discover your why and communicate it through your organization and to the outside world.

Start With Why argues that WHY leads to the HOW and the WHAT:

• The WHY: This is the vision of your company. It’s the motivation behind your service or product. 
• The HOW: The HOW is the practical, operational knowledge that brings the vision to life.
• The WHAT: The WHAT is the product or service your selling. 

However this starts with why as a product vision, not a personal motivation. As a Consultant and Project Manager I am interested in the product vision (outcome) but as  a Coach and Mentor I am interested in the psychology or motivation of the people (the pattern setting, seeking and matching process)

If you were to ask the average job applicant why they work at ABC Co Ltd their answers are unlikely to be the same as the founding members or the product vision. Their answers are more likely to be as follows.

Because this is a decent job, with decent pay, and good terms ... as a stepping stone to [personal goal]
Because this is a job, training and perks which enable me to ... move towards  [personal goal]
Because this is a career, service or product that satisfies my ... [personal goal]

And that is a good thing. Since people change jobs within 3-5 years you would hope that each is a step toward a  [personal goal] rather than to require that we set a new [personal goal] every time we change role. We might speculate that something is awry and question your character and values if you fundamentally changed as a person with each job role!

Taking this perspective  the corporate or product why is simply providing a vehicle (project or job) which is a stepping stone for the  [personal goal] which we explore further below in the analogy of a law student working in a bar.

So here we may have a problem. The "why" for product is not the same as the "why" for a person. They may be aligned, but they are not the same.


BEING CAUTIOUS ABOUT ASKING WHY

There is a time and place to ask "why", but it bears thinking about.

Ask "Why did you do that" and someone is likely to be defensive. Or simply unable to articulate the feeling, emotions or values deep in their pysche. Either way you are unlikely to get a coherent answer which has utility. This is because "it's what my mother would have wanted" is hardly going to help you with the  improvement of a process or the delivery of an outcome. 

Ask "What or how" something happened and someone is likely to be descriptive in a way that supports understanding and learning. This has greater utility, and ironically might, through further probing identify the motivation (by understanding the pattern setting, seeking and matching process) as well as the methods.  

This suggests that asking "why" about a product is useful, but asking "why" about a persons motives, values, assumptions and beliefs may create defensiveness. And the more you insist, the more they resist. 

GOALS AND PURPOSE AND POSITIVE EMOTION (WELLBEING)

So how should we look at business, product, service and people goals? Let's start with people.

Let's explore the pattern setting, seeking and matching process. Using the examples above you want to a Doctor (conscious goal) because this is about my sense of self, my identity and who I want to be in the world (unconscious goal) which is a function of nature, nurture, culture and experience. 

You now have a pattern and you will see paths to this purpose: you may work harder in biology than art, you may pursue science rather than geography, you'll pursue courses, grades and experiences which are congruent with that goal. You might get a  student job in a bar, which doesnt have much to do with being a physician, but if it pays tuition fees then it is congruent with that goal.

In this context even a crappy job, if it is congruent with that goal has purpose and offers positive emotion: the feeling that you are moving towards your goal. We often see this with high performance athletes who push beyond normality and pain. Without a goal or purpose of personal value you cannot experience positive emotion. This purpose of personal value is responsibility and the reward is positive emotion.

It is useful to contrast this with CONSUMPTION AND SATISFACTION

If you are hungry, thirsty or needy you may be driven to satiate that need. Having eaten the feeling of hunger goes away. You are satisfied. And so with that feeling extinguished the question is "What Next?" So when you are "satisfied" with the house, car, job, money there is a pursuit of "What Next?" . This maybe more, or bigger, or latest. But this is a pursuit of consumption and satisfaction. It is not positive emotion.

In this case, working in exactly the same crappy job, you will at best be satisfied but unlikely to experience  the positive emotion of progressing towards a goal (unless your goal is to one day be the boss or own the company)

And it is also useful to understand the risks of HEDONISM AND HAPPINESS

The pursuit of happiness, without the burden of responsibility, is hedonism. This is temporary in-the-moment happiness, but it isnt positive emotion. Drinking is fun. Being drunk may be fun. Hangovers are not. Likewise many other temptations which have their price. But hedonism thinks about now, not the future. It thinks about the moment not the consequences. It thinks about happiness without responsibility. People who see themselves as victims, who give-up on personal responsibility and accountability can find life lacks purpose, lacks positive emotion. They may turn to shallow hedonism instead. 

So how does this impact business, products, or services. Well I would suggest the positive emotion of people is really important to how customers, clients or consumers experience business, products, or services. We say attitude affects altitude and from the examples above we may be able to see why.

POSITIVE EMOTION (WELLBEING) IS NOT THE SAME AS HAPPINESS

Let's explore the positive emotion of people.

Some argue that hedonism is seeking pleasure and avoiding suffering, which are the components of well-being, but it seems to me this is wrong. Well-being is positive emotion, and it is linked to responsibility and a purpose of personal value. Happiness, in the form of hedonism, is temporary and ultimately destructive. Satisfaction is insatiable, always looking for the next thing.

Performance athletes often talk of Type1 Fun (the fun you have during an event) and Type2 Fun (the fun experience after an event having advanced or progressed as a result). I think happiness is akin to Type1 and wellbeing to Type2. This is consistent with the musings of a good friend who said: "Its not about feeling better, its about having better feeling"

I believe you will find well-being in true positive emotion that lasts into the future. Find a purpose of personal value and take responsibility for it.

CONCLUSION
There are a lot of ideas here, some of which are complex, and some are challenging to explain. I welcome feedback.

Being a Consultant, Coach and Mentor are simply different roles to the same purpose: to support people or organisations achieve their goals. Just as we might break a strategy into its constituent parts, examine each element and seek to improve the process, performance and outcome we should do the same for our people. 

It is a great thing to deliver a project, product or service on-time, on-budget, to-specification and profitably to a happy customer. I believe it is a wholly important thing to understand and satisfy the motivation of the people (the pattern setting, seeking and matching process). If you can achieve your project, product or service and support people's capacity, drive, desire and wellbeing, then you have really achieved something which will outlive your project, product or service.

Tim HJ Rogers MBA CITP 
PROJECTS, PROGRAMMES and CHANGE /  CONSULTANT MENTOR COACH
Adapt Consulting Company 
Consult CoCreate Deliver
Mob +447797762051 Tim@AdaptConsultingCompany.com

Tim Rogers is an experienced Project and Change Leader and an ICF Trained Coach as well as mentor for the IoD. He is a past curator for TEDx. Roles have included Programme Manager for the incorporation of Ports and Jersey, and Jersey Post, as well as Operations Change and Sales Support for RBSI/NatWest. He is also Commonwealth Triathlete and World Championships Rower. He has a passion for learning and has been a Tutor/Mentor for the Chartered Management Institute. He is a former Chartered Member of the British Computer Society, has an MBA (Management Consultancy) and is both a PRINCE2 and Change Management Practitioner.  



LINKS
1-Page Book Summary of Start With Why 
https://www.shortform.com/B/summary/start-with-why-summary-simon-sinek?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclid=Cj0KCQiAmL-ABhDFARIsAKywVaeXPb0i2wtFKFwfR7govB9RN0BP0T8lAkkTXYyCBgfr_RuL7hQtx3EaAsy_EALw_wcB

UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF IS THE FIRST STEP TO UNDERSTANDING WHAT YOU CAN DO IN THE WORLD

As a consultant, coach and mentor I am often invited in varying roles to support people with their Personal Goals, Professional Development, or Business.

For Personal Goals this may be: 1) Self Aspect, 2) Behavioral Aspect, 3) Social Aspect, 4) Physical Aspect, 5) Emotional Aspect, 6) Mental Aspect and 7) SpiritualAspect. 

For Professional Development this may be; 1) Career Progress; 2) Earnings/Financial Reward ; 3) Recognition/Support; 4) Relationships at Work ; 5) Purpose and Passion ; 6) Work/Life Balance ; 7) Work Content and Process 

For Business this may be; Processes, People, Engagement or Performance in the context of Projects, Programmes, Strategy or Change. 

In all these instances knowing something about yourself is really important. This is partly about talent, experience and expertise but it is also about what you value and what motivates you. There are some flaws and a number of challenges around the efficacy of psychometric testing but there does seem value in the use of DISC, MBTI, OCEAN (each discussed below) as a tool for reflection or possibly discussion. I also find Ikigai: The japanese secret to a long and happy life might just help you live a more fulfilling life. 

SOME TOOLS

There is so much already written about these tools, and so many self assessments available on-line, that I will not duplicate them here, but simply introduce each tool, why I feel it is important and relevant as a consultant, coach and mentor and offer links to read more, and possibly try a self assessments. What you choose to do beyond that is up-to-you.

I had a coaching client who was struggling around "motivation" and outside of the coaching session I suggested they might find the MBTI assessment interesting. A couple of days later they emailed me to say that they had a breakthrough and had solved the problem. Not all coaching success happens in the session, and real coaching success is when the client solves their own problem.

DISC 

DiSC® is a personal assessment tool used by more than one million people every year to help improve teamwork, communication, and productivity in the workplace. 



DiSC is an acronym that stands for the four main personality profiles described in the DiSC model: (D)ominance, (i)nfluence, (S)teadiness and (C)onscientiousness.

• People with D personalities tend to be confident and place an emphasis on accomplishing bottom-line results.
• People with i personalities tend to be more open and place an emphasis on relationships and influencing or persuading others.
• People with S personalities tend to be dependable and place the emphasis on cooperation and sincerity.
• People with C personalities tend to place the emphasis on quality, accuracy, expertise, and competency.

Read more here
https://www.discprofile.com/what-is-disc
https://www.indabaglobal.com/disc-assessments-improve-customer-service/

Take a self-assessment
https://discpersonalitytesting.com/free-disc-test/

MBTI

The Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is an introspective self-report questionnaire indicating differing psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions. The test attempts to assign four categories: introversion or extraversion, sensing or intuition, thinking or feeling, judging or perceiving.



The purpose of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) personality inventory is to make the theory of psychological types described by C. G. Jung understandable and useful in people's lives. The essence of the theory is that much seemingly random variation in the behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent, being due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perception and judgment. This is ostensibly a more sophisticated version of DISC (although some purists would disagree)


Read more here
https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/

Take a self-assessment
https://www.16personalities.com/

OCEAN

Many contemporary personality psychologists believe that there are five basic dimensions of personality, often referred to as the "Big 5" personality traits. The five broad personality traits described by the theory are extraversion (also often spelled extroversion), agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism. 

The Big Five Model, also known as the Five-Factor Model, is the most widely accepted personality theory held by psychologists today. The theory states that personality can be boiled down to five core factors, known by the acronym CANOE or OCEAN:

• Conscientiousness =  impulsive, disorganized vs. disciplined, careful
• Agreeableness =  suspicious, uncooperative vs. trusting, helpful
• Neuroticism = calm, confident vs. anxious, pessimistic
• Openness to Experience = prefers routine, practical vs. imaginative, spontaneous
• Extraversion = reserved, thoughtful vs. sociable, fun-loving

Read more here
https://www.verywellmind.com/the-big-five-personality-dimensions-2795422

Take a self-assessment 
https://www.truity.com/test/big-five-personality-test

IKIGAI

ikigai is seen as the convergence of four primary elements:



What you love (your passion)
What the world needs (your mission)
What you are good at (your vocation)
What you can get paid for (your profession)

Discovering your own ikigai is said to bring fulfilment, happiness and make you live longer.

Read more here
https://medium.com/thrive-global/ikigai-the-japanese-secret-to-a-long-and-happy-life-might-just-help-you-live-a-more-fulfilling-9871d01992b7

CONCLUSION
 
There are some great tools for understanding, defining, documenting and communicating mission, vision, strategy and processes. As a consultant, coach and mentor I find great value in understanding people as the first step. And there is nobody more significant in your life than YOU. So perhaps some of the  self-assessments above may be useful to you, your plans and your career or business. 
  

Tim HJ Rogers MBA CITP 
PROJECTS, PROGRAMMES and CHANGE /  CONSULTANT MENTOR COACH
Adapt Consulting Company 
Consult CoCreate Deliver
Mob +447797762051 Tim@AdaptConsultingCompany.com

Tim Rogers is an experienced Project and Change Leader and an ICF Trained Coach as well as mentor for the IoD. He is a past curator for TEDx. Roles have included Programme Manager for the incorporation of Ports and Jersey, and Jersey Post, as well as Operations Change and Sales Support for RBSI/NatWest. He is also Commonwealth Triathlete and World Championships Rower. He has a passion for learning and has been a Tutor/Mentor for the Chartered Management Institute. He is a former Chartered Member of the British Computer Society, has an MBA (Management Consultancy) and is both a PRINCE2 and Change Management Practitioner.  

ARE YOU GRUMPY, SAD OR DEPRESSED?

 GRUMPY

Many people feel down at the moment with covid, lockdown, economic uncertainty and a range of other social or economic factors. And that's before we get out of bed!

Blue Monday is the name given to a day in January (typically the third Monday of the month) said by a UK travel company, Sky Travel, to be the most depressing day of the year. The concept was first published in a 2005 press release from the company, which claimed to have calculated the date using an "equation".  There doesn't appear to be much substance behind the claim. Blue Monday appears to be a PR stunt dreamed up to sell holidays. But the phenomena is often commented upon. Blue Monday is now 2 weeks ago, but these are not normal times! 

SAD

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern.SAD is sometimes known as "winter depression" because the symptoms are usually more apparent and more severe during the winter. There is plenty of evidence to support this. 

Symptoms of SAD can include:
• a persistent low mood
• a loss of pleasure or interest in normal everyday activities
• irritability
• feelings of despair, guilt and worthlessness
• feeling lethargic (lacking in energy) and sleepy during the day
• sleeping for longer than normal and finding it hard to get up in the morning
• craving carbohydrates and gaining weight

There is a scale between being down and being depressed, and in some cases being down is as normal as being happy. It is human and healthy to have a full range of emotions.

Fear → feeling of being afraid , frightened, scared.
Anger → feeling angry. A stronger word for anger is rage
Sadness → feeling sad. Other words are sorrow, grief (a stronger feeling, for example when someone has died)
Joy → feeling happy. Other words are happiness, gladness
Disgust → feeling something is wrong or nasty. Strong disapproval
Surprise → being unprepared for something.
Trust → a positive emotion; admiration is stronger; acceptance is weaker.
Anticipation → in the sense of looking forward positively to something which is going to happen. Expectation is more neutral

DEPRESSED
    
Emotions are part of normal life and should not be treated as abnormal or illness in the context of things that may be happening around you. However depression is a real thing. How should we distinguish between normal feelings and depression?

In this context it is interesting to look at Beck's Depression Inventory. A bit of self diagnosis and reflection may be useful to either get things in perspective or seek help.

This depression inventory can be self-scored. 0 1 2 3 for each block of questions. The scoring scale is at the end of the questionnaire.

0. I do not feel sad.
1. I feel sad
2. I am sad all the time and I can't snap out of it. 
3. I am so sad and unhappy that I can't stand it.

0. I am not particularly discouraged about the future.
1. I feel discouraged about the future.
2. I feel I have nothing to look forward to.
3. I feel the future is hopeless and that things cannot improve.

0. I do not feel like a failure.
1. I feel I have failed more than the average person.
2. As I look back on my life, all I can see is a lot of failures. 
3. I feel I am a complete failure as a person.

0. I get as much satisfaction out of things as I used to. 
1. I don't enjoy things the way I used to.
2. I don't get real satisfaction out of anything anymore. 
3. I am dissatisfied or bored with everything.

0. I don't feel particularly guilty
1. I feel guilty a good part of the time. 
2. I feel quite guilty most of the time.
3. I feel guilty all of the time.

0. I don't feel I am being punished. 
1. I feel I may be punished.
2. I expect to be punished.
3. I feel I am being punished.

0. I don't feel disappointed in myself. 
1. I am disappointed in myself.
2. I am disgusted with myself.
3. I hate myself.

0. I don't feel I am any worse than anybody else.
1. I am critical of myself for my weaknesses or mistakes. 
2. I blame myself all the time for my faults.
3. I blame myself for everything bad that happens.

0. I don't have any thoughts of killing myself.
1. I have thoughts of killing myself, but I would not carry them out. 
2. I would like to kill myself.
3. I would kill myself if I had the chance.

0. I don't cry any more than usual.
1. I cry more now than I used to.
2. I cry all the time now.
3. I used to be able to cry, but now I can't cry even though I want to.

0. I am no more irritated by things than I ever was.
1. I am slightly more irritated now than usual.
2. I am quite annoyed or irritated a good deal of the time. 
3. I feel irritated all the time.

0. I have not lost interest in other people.
1. I am less interested in other people than I used to be. 
2. I have lost most of my interest in other people.
3. I have lost all of my interest in other people.

0. I make decisions about as well as I ever could.
1. I put off making decisions more than I used to.
2. I have greater difficulty in making decisions more than I used to. 
3. I can't make decisions at all anymore.

0. I don't feel that I look any worse than I used to.
1. I am worried that I am looking old or unattractive.
2. I feel there are permanent changes in my appearance that make me look
3. I believe that I look ugly.

0. I can work about as well as before.
1. It takes an extra effort to get started at doing something. 
2. I have to push myself very hard to do anything.
3. I can't do any work at all.

0. I can sleep as well as usual.
1. I don't sleep as well as I used to.
2. I wake up 1-2 hours earlier than usual and find it hard to get back to sleep. 
3. I wake up several hours earlier than I used to and cannot get back to sleep.

0. I don't get more tired than usual.
1. I get tired more easily than I used to.
2. I get tired from doing almost anything. 
3. I am too tired to do anything.

0. My appetite is no worse than usual.
1. My appetite is not as good as it used to be. 
2. My appetite is much worse now.
3. I have no appetite at all anymore.

0. I haven't lost much weight, if any, lately. 
1. I have lost more than five pounds.
2. I have lost more than ten pounds.
3. I have lost more than fifteen pounds.

0. I am no more worried about my health than usual.
1. I am worried about physical problems like aches, pains, upset stomach, or constipation.
2. I am very worried about physical problems and it's hard to think of much else.
3. I am so worried about my physical problems that I cannot think of anything else.

0. I have not noticed any recent change in my interest in sex.
1. I am less interested in sex than I used to be.
2. I have almost no interest in sex.
3. I have lost interest in sex completely.

INTERPRETING THE BECK DEPRESSION INVENTORY

Now that you have completed the questionnaire, add up the score for each of the twenty-one questions by counting the number to the right of each question you marked. The highest possible total for the whole test would be sixty-three. This would mean you circled number three on all twenty-one questions. Since the lowest possible score for each question is zero, the lowest possible score for the test would be zero. This would mean you circles zero on each question. You can evaluate your depression according to the Table below.

Total Score____________________Levels of Depression

1-10____________________These ups and downs are considered normal 
11-16___________________ Mild mood disturbance 
17-20___________________Borderline clinical depression 
21-30___________________Moderate depression 
31-40___________________Severe depression
over 40__________________Extreme depression



Tim HJ Rogers MBA CITP 
PROJECTS, PROGRAMMES and CHANGE /  CONSULTANT MENTOR COACH
Adapt Consulting Company 
Consult CoCreate Deliver
Mob +447797762051 Tim@AdaptConsultingCompany.com

Tim Rogers is an experienced Project and Change Leader and an ICF Trained Coach as well as mentor for the IoD. He is a past curator for TEDx. Roles have included Programme Manager for the incorporation of Ports and Jersey, and Jersey Post, as well as Operations Change and Sales Support for RBSI/NatWest. He is also Commonwealth Triathlete and World Championships Rower. He has a passion for learning and has been a Tutor/Mentor for the Chartered Management Institute. He is a former Chartered Member of the British Computer Society, has an MBA (Management Consultancy) and is both a PRINCE2 and Change Management Practitioner.  



LINKS
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/

SOMETIMES YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU THINK UNTIL YOU WRITE IT DOWN

SOMETIMES YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU THINK UNTIL YOU WRITE IT DOWN

As a Coach and Mentor I often work with people to resolve whatever is holding them back. In one recent session the client described their life as entering a new chapter. The use of metaphors can be revealing and useful. We explored how the past, present and future chapters fitted together.  

We then talked about the issues that were making it difficult to more from the past to the future, and played with the chapter metaphor a little. We started by narrowing down what might be on a page and expanding out what might be the whole book. 

We agreed this approach was useful in putting the scale and pace of change into context. Is this a new chapter? Is it a whole new book? Or is it simply turning a page? 

We agreed it would be a great exercise to take three pages and briefly write notes on the past, present and future. The process translates thoughts and feelings into words which can more easily and objectively assessed, and also prepares the ground for future discussions. Conversations can be rehearsed in the script.

By chronicling the past and scripting the future my client was able to gain control over thoughts and feelings, and choose the direction of her story, becoming author for her life.

BRAIN WASHING AND NEW THINKING

Apparently a form of brain washing of american soldiers was to get them to copy out texts that denounced americanism and capitalism. Whereas simply reciting words had no effect on the prisoners, apparently the process of copying text caused then to think about what they were writing. Their internal dialogue [what they said to themselves when they were writing] managed to convince themselves of things that their captors could not.

Writing, which inevitably involves self-talk, is a powerful way of surfacing and examining deeper thoughts in a process which explores meaning and truth before committing it to paper. This process is so powerful in self examination and reflection that story telling or narrative coaching is often used when coaching or mentoring clients about assumptions, ambitions and motives. 

NEITHER MEMORIES OR STORIES ARE FIXED

Memories are not fixed or frozen. Every time we recall something from the past we examine it in a new context, and indeed may edit or update the memory with new meaning or purpose based on reflection or new data.  Memory therefore can be unreliable since each memory is a store of thoughts and feelings at one particular time, which might be potentially changed each time they are recalled.

For example, If you recite the story of that special day when you did that remarkable thing (remember that, that was huge!). Well the story will change over time. Maybe you add details or don't mention bits if telling your parents or partner or the people at work. Maybe that thing which was huge when you were 5, actually seems quite small now that you are a 5'10" adult. Or maybe that really nice thing looks very different with hindsight, now that you now know about that other thing, which you didn't know then.

It is a good thing to re-examine the past, but best done at a time and a place that does not distort the recollection and update with negative thoughts and feelings. The formula below hints at the problem of inaccurate memory.

Formula: Event + Data + Truth +  Experience = Reality

Problems: 
1) Event is vague: It may be what is, isn't or might or didn't happen (but you wanted it to)?
2) Data is uncertain: Did we get all the sights, sounds and signals?
3) Truth is variable: [1] what is, [2] what is perceived [3] what we noticed
4) Experience is subjective: thought & emotion can change because of circumstance and context

A good coach will help you identify, surface, recognise and navigate these elements.

GOALS ARE SHORT STORIES IN THE BOOK OF YOUR LIFE

Having a goal gives people something to strive for, a purpose. Typically this might be family, but not necessarily mother and father type family. It could be colleagues, club, community or country. But it could be artistic, scientifice, literary purpose. Whatever you can conceive you can believe, and if you truly believe that may be your purpose.

This purpose, if it has personal value, will motivate and engage our exploratory and pursuit systems and support that effort with dopamine and analgesia to help us with the pursuit. It is a high, a drive, a passion of positive emotion. We often see this with high performance athletes who push beyond normality and pain. 

We link memories together to form stories of our past. We may do a bit of editorial to make them coherent and flow: we do not like to think of life as random events so we use narrative to create logical consequence, because of this.. then that. We also like to think there is some fate to life: whether the locus of control is external [the world, God, work, politics sets my fate] or the locus of control is internal [I am the captain of my ship].

The result is that these short stories become your lifes work. As director or editor you get to chose the plot simply by deciding which scenes to keep and which to dump on the cutting room floor. If you create a story with purpose, a mission, or goal that transends the every-day (food, drink, sleep, consumption) then you can create and live with positive emotion, by taking responsibility as the screenwriter, director or editor for your life.


Tim HJ Rogers MBA CITP 
PROJECTS, PROGRAMMES and CHANGE /  CONSULTANT MENTOR COACH
Adapt Consulting Company 
Consult CoCreate Deliver
Mob +447797762051 Tim@AdaptConsultingCompany.com

Tim Rogers is an experienced Project and Change Leader and an ICF Trained Coach as well as mentor for the IoD. He is a past curator for TEDx. Roles have included Programme Manager for the incorporation of Ports and Jersey, and Jersey Post, as well as Operations Change and Sales Support for RBSI/NatWest. He is also Commonwealth Triathlete and World Championships Rower. He has a passion for learning and has been a Tutor/Mentor for the Chartered Management Institute. He is a former Chartered Member of the British Computer Society, has an MBA (Management Consultancy) and is both a PRINCE2 and Change Management Practitioner.  


USEFUL LINKS

The True Story of Brainwashing and How It Shaped America
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/true-story-brainwashing-and-how-it-shaped-america-180963400/

Self Authoring Suite | Reviewing Jordan Peterson’s Self Authoring Program
https://andreian.com/self-authoring/