Sunday 13 September 2020

THE PROBLEM WITH PATHOS AND THE NEED TO FOCUS ON PEOPLE

CONSULTING & COACHING TO ENABLE PROGRESS AND PERFORMANCE

Although I have been a consultant, coach, mentor, trainer for some time I have decided to become ICF Accredited.

As part of the the course I have had the opportunity to meet new coaches and experienced (15-20 years) coaches and it is really interesting to see where they draw the line (or vague boundary) between everyday conversation, coaching, counselling and therapy.

The ICF provide clear guidance (LINK 1) but it is nonetheless intersting where both novice and experienced coaches draw distinctions. Some indicated a feeling of empathy or even sympathy for their client seemed to be going too far into the emotions, with an apparent preference for goal setting without tears. Others recoiled at a question aimed to understand how current feelings of anxiety might be linked to past experiences of grief or loss.

A lot of the focus is problem reframing, process, action and goals. Which is good stuff. But there is perhaps more to life than weight-loss goals, presentation skills and project delivery. There are challenging existential, values, beliefs, relationships etc., which can be the cause of modern stress, crisis and self-exportation, discovery and purpose (including life, career, family reappraisal). I think and feel emotion or stress are a part of life and within scope of Coaching, rather than a mental health problem that needs therapy or pharmacy.

Since Covid we talk of a mental health crisis, but I believe in most cases people are not fundamentally broken. What is needed is compassion and conversation, enabling people to exercise their thinking and remedies and only in some cases (see ICF Guidance) referral to a specialist.  

I say compassion rather than empathy or sympathy, because the former remains agnostic, independant and resourceful whereas the ..pathy comes from the greek pathos which can be unhelpful if it simply adds fuel to the fire or water to the well.

For me the e in emotion is the energy that drives us or holds us. To avoid engaging with emotion and instead pursue SMART objectives and next steps is to miss a key essense of coaching which is to support the client through their experience, their mental maps, and their desired outcomes.

We live in a world of 5 step plans, top 10 tips, life hacks and easy remedies. We need to perhaps focus less on the recipe and more on the chef and their choice of ingredients (assumptions, values, believes, patterns) which are guided by emotions (pride, fear, sorrow, joy, grief, anxiety) into behaviours.

This is what so often is lacking when we create project plans and personal appraisals: we omit to focus on the person and their resources in preference for results which are transitory and temporary.

Coaching is a conversational journey to enable people to unlock their potential by understanding their resources, motivation, barriers and goals. Coaching is about asking the right questions.

To see case studies or find out more, or just share a coffee and conversation contact us. We love what we do and we would enjoy sharing ideas which may be useful to your organisation.


TimHJRogers
Consultant Mentor Coach
Helping people and organisations get things done:
http://www.adaptconsultingcompany.com/coaching/

Adapt Consulting Company
Consult CoCreate Deliver
@AdaptCCompany +447797762051

ICF defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential, which is particularly important in today's uncertain and complex environment.

LINK 1
New ICF Resource Helps Coaches Understand When and How to Refer Clients to Therapy
https://coachfederation.org/blog/new-icf-resource-helps-coaches-understand-when-and-how-to-refer-clients-to-therapy
https://coachfederation.org/app/uploads/2018/05/Whitepaper-Client-Referral.pdf


No comments:

Post a Comment